Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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