Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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