He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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