and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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