if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
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No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
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I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
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we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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