eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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