I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ass is underappreciated
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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