Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
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hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
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The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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