Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize