I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize