Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
operation harelip BJ is a go
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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