your room smells of hookers.
And success
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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