Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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