So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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