i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
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She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
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Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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