hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize