Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize