dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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