Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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