he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
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I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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