i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
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I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
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Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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