You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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