Non-Jews are for practice
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
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It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
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I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He has the fingertips of a God
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