Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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