Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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