Im at strip club and am horny
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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