Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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