i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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