Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize