so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
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all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
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My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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