Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize