if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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