dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize