I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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