Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
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Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
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The struggles of a small town man whore
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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