She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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