something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
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just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
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idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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