Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize