When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
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You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
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You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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