Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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