he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
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But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
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Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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