I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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