I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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