he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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