I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize