I think I won the penis lottery.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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