About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize