sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
sarcasm needs its own font
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize