That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize