; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
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oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
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He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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